This love, this hate
by DhAtPuNk
Summary: It's been so long since Piper has spoken to Alex. She has no idea where she was or how she's been. She's missed her so much since she's been gone and finally she gets too hear from her. Hopefully Alex was feeling the same was as she was. One shot.


It had been three long months since Piper had last spoken or even seen Alex. Last Piper heard, Alex was in some rehab in a land far, far away, and that was three months ago. So hearing her voice on the other side of her smart phone, in her mind, was nothing short of a miracle.

"Alex" she hoped her voice wouldn't give away the fact that her heart was beating out of her chest. she was scared, and excited all at the same time, but his could she not?

It had been three months of wondering, hoping, not knowing, imagining, three months of needing Alex.

"Pipes" the weight of the world melted off of her shoulders and she let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"Alex" it took everything in her not to burst into tears. "Piper, hi" her voice was soft, familiar, it was Alex and Piper was ecstatic. "Fuck, I've missed you so much" Piper said desperately trying to hold back tears. " I have so many questions, like-" Alex cut her off.

"Listen, Piper" her voice was stern, serious "OK look, this is going to be really hard right now, so I'm going to skip the small talk and just give you the bottom line."

No, no, no, were the only words circling in pipers head. She knew exactly where Alex was going with this, and as badly as she wanted to stop her, she couldn't.

She tried to call out, speak up, anything to try and distract Alex from breaking her heart, but she couldn't. Nothing came out when she opened her mouth, nothing but crippling silence. Then it came "Piper we can't be in each others lives anymore" and even though Piper knew it was coming it didn't soften the blow. "N-no, Alex, Alex" "Piper, we aren't good together, you're no good for me" Piper couldn't breath, she getting as if her lungs had just collapsed. With every breath she choked down and shook it's way back out, she felt her heart break.

"Alex, no. Fuck. fuck. no. Alex, you cannot fucking do this to me! Fuck, Alex!" Piper had to stop herself, she was losing control. "Piper, Piper, stop, OK." her voice was soft, almost shaking. "Look, this wasn't an easy decision to come to" Alex's voice started started to muffle in her ears, until all she could hear was a white noise.

The only thing Piper could do was stand the with her mouth hanging open tears rolling down her cheeks. "Please, Alex, stop. We can fix this. I can fix this" Piper inhaled sharply "fuck, Alex" "I'm sorry Piper, we've talked it over and this is what is best for me and my recovery. You're my fucking trigger Piper, as long as I'm around you, I'm never going to get better." Piper stared blankly at the ground, desperately trying to put together any word that could make this stop.

To turn back time in anyway possible, but she couldn't. This was the final goodbye, and she could feel it, in the deepest pit of her stomach. "I - I can't do this without you" her voice was small, broken, and dripping in desperation. "Piper, I- I godda go" "No, no! Alex! I'm begging you, I can't fucking do this without you!" Piper was openly sobbing at this point and she couldn't care less.

If this was the last time she was going to speak to Alex she wanted her to feel it. The pain and anguish crawling all over her, she wanted Alex to feel it because it was all her fucking fault.

"Look, Piper." Alex took a deep breath "I- I don't really have anyth-" Piper was crying, shaking, sobbing she didn't care about hiding her emotions. All she cared about was keeping Alex in her life for as long as possible. If this was the last few seconds she had left with her she was going to stretch it out in anyway possible.

"FUCK!" Piper cursed herself as she practically clawed her face the tears away. "Alex, Alex, I love you, don't" she whimpered inbetween sobs.

"Piper, I can't! I just fucking can't, OK? we just aren't healthy for each other, we're toxic, and I'm just so fucking sick of pumping toxic shit into my veins. No matter how much I might love it, I'm sorry Piper, goodbye." "NO...No!" Piper hollered into an empty apartment, she tossed herself into the wall behind her and slid down to the floor, clutching her phone to her chest. "Alex!!" she screamed, once again, to no one...


End file.
